


Lost And Found

by ProfessorFlimflam



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst and Feels, Berena Final Countdown, F/F, Grief, Grieving, Loss, mostly feels, not much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:34:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22185673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorFlimflam/pseuds/ProfessorFlimflam
Summary: When Bernie loses the Trauma Unit and her job, she goes to find Serena, who is in France grieving for her lost daughter. Together, they find new ways to cope with loss.
Relationships: Serena Campbell/Bernie Wolfe
Comments: 5
Kudos: 45
Collections: The Final Countdown





	Lost And Found

**Author's Note:**

> The fic previously posted as _Lost and Found_ is now titled Kith and Kin, because I am an idiot.

The worst of it was that she didn’t dislike Nina Karnak - she rather admired her, actually. She was doing an impossible job and making the only decision she could under pressure from the board, but _damn_ , it hurt. Bernie had raged at her, and at Hanssen, who had gently but very firmly confirmed the closure, softening the blow only by telling her that Ric had been prepared to sacrifice his own job to try and save the unit. The suggestion Henrik had made regarding her potential career path at Holby City had been not so much an insult as a much needed nudge for her to up sticks and move on, and she took the hint.

She would go on to Sudan in due course, where she could make a real difference, but first she would go and make a difference to Serena, who was at last ready to spend time with someone other than the ghosts who had kept her company over the last few months.

***

They spent days in the vineyard and nights in each other’s arms, learning each other anew and finding themselves in the frame of their new shared realities, working out a new way to be together. Elinor’s absence was always there, but it no longer stood between them as Serena learned to share her grief rather than impose it on Bernie. Her tears came easily now, and she had come to welcome them instead of fighting them. Bernie provided comfort or distance as the moment required, and grew more comfortable sharing her own grief and sadness with her partner.

One evening towards the end of her stay, Bernie found Serena in tears again, but there was a different intensity to this episode. Between tearful gasps, Serena explained that at some point during the day, the clasp on her necklace had failed, and it was gone: the precious gift from her father. She had traced and retraced her steps, but to no avail, and although Bernie helped her search the next day, it was gone. Perhaps it was snagged on a vine, or buried under the sandy soil, and perhaps it would resurface one day, but Serena accepted that she had to let it go without fretting.

***

They were in the market on a rare day off. Jean-Marie had taken pity on Serena, acknowledging her hard work and Bernie’s imminent departure, and had sent them off for the day with a bag stuffed full of good things to eat and drink. Mindful of the fact that they would soon be saying goodbye to each other again, Serena had been keeping a keen eye out for some little trinket she could give Bernie to take with her, but it was Bernie who suddenly gave a little “ _oh!_ ” and darted over to a stall. She came back a minute later and took Serena’s hand, drawing her over to a bench.

“I know it’s not the same, but it’s a sort of variation on a theme, I suppose. Look - what do you think?”

She dropped something cold and bright into Serena’s outstretched hand, letting the chain coil in the hollow of her palm. For a moment, Serena thought it was the necklace that she had lost, but as the sun gleamed on the smooth curve of the pendant, she saw it was a single band fashioned into a twisted loop.

“It reminded me of the symbol for eternity,” Bernie said softly. “I thought it might be appropriate? For Elinor as well as for your parents.” She looked shyly at Serena, anxious that her spur of the moment gesture might be unwanted or heavy handed, but Serena’s eyes shone with love as she looked from the pendant up to Bernie’s worried brown eyes.

“It’s perfect,” she said. “Thank you. Will you help me put it on?”

Bernie fastened the catch for her, and turning Serena back to face her, laid a finger on the pendant as it nestled in the hollow of Serena’s throat.

“It looks right,” she said. “I’d very much like to kiss you,” she added, “but this really isn’t the place, is it?”

Serena laughed, her fingers catching in the delicate chain, an old, familiar gesture made new.

“It’s not,” she agreed, “but I’d like that too.”

***

On the day Bernie left, Jean-Marie came to see them in their little apartment.

“I am sorry to lose you, Capitaine Louve,” he said. She smiled affectionately at him: she had grown fond of him, and of the nickname he had given her despite the fact that he had demoted her from Major to Captain. She rather liked being known as the She-Wolf.

“And I’m sorry to be going,” she replied as he kissed her on each cheek.

“You will be welcome here any time. Oh! - and Serena, I have some good news for you. Francine found this in the dairy this morning - it is yours, yes?” From his pocket he drew the chain with its little cluster of charms, and Serena laughed with joy to see it, promising to buy Francine a good bottle of champagne next time she was in town.

They said their own farewells in the privacy of their apartment, and then Serena drove Bernie to the station.

“I wanted to buy you something, too,” she said, clasping Bernie’s hand tightly in both of her own “something to remind you of me, of this wonderful time we’ve had, but I couldn’t find the right gift. I want you have this. Keep it safe for me - and keep yourself safe, too.”

Bernie opened her hand to find Serena’s old necklace gleaming there, and her breath caught in her throat, understanding what this meant to her lover. She fought her instinct to refuse it, to say it was too much, and instead she brought the necklace to her lips before she closed her hand around it again.

“I will. Thank you, I will.”

She wanted nothing more than to hold Serena, never to let her go, but instead she leaned forward and kissed her cheeks, once, twice, as the locals did.

“ _Au revoir, Capitaine Louve,_ ” Serena said with a smile.

***

As the train moved slowly through the French countryside, Bernie stared through the window with unseeing eyes. She blinked away tears, and her fingers went to the chain at her throat in a gesture as familiar as her own breath. She closed her eyes and slept peacefully all the way back to Paris.


End file.
